that bbq feeling

I started having my lupron shots a month ago - that med that's gonna cause me temporary menopause (to stop new cysts from growing in my ovary) for a month, and since I'm in a 6-month program, I get a shot once a month till June.

It's only the second month, and the low level of estrogen is already wreaking havoc in my body, i.e. hot flashes, night sweats, sleeplessness in the night, sleepiness by day, and mood swings. My hot flashes ain't the kind you experience when you blush when you see your crush. It's the kind of feeling you get when you run a marathon and then suddenly stopped on your tracks - it's a burning feeling from the inside. It starts at the back of the neck, or at the upper back, and then spreads (sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly) to the torso and the limbs. Even when inside an airconditioned room, I sweat like I was under the midday sun. Imagine me in the office, fanning myself to cool down while everybody else is donning a jacket. What's crazier is that when I cool down, I cool down to a chill. And then I get goosebumps from the low temperature.

Now I understand why 'occasional crying' is a menopausal symptom - the roller coaster temperature, when it happens in short intervals, is enough to drive you crazy. And frustrated. And irked. So irked, you cry. And then you get the mood swings.

"Now you know how it is to menopause," my doctor told me, "remember that when you get old."

Think about that. All that suffering plus mid-life crisis.

So, to the kid reading this: don't get irritated by your middle-aged mother's fits. (Glad I wasn't when my Mom went through this.) You don't know how it is to be barbecued from the inside every now and then.